Explore My World

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Fumbling in the Candle Light

I am excited about the approaching blue moon. It will be the first I will experience as a witch. I am still trying to figure out what I should do for my ritual on this day. I think as a newbie it can be difficult to begin doing rituals. It is something that I am not used to doing every month and takes some thought to compose. Has anyone else felt like this when they started out?

I think that I sometimes get so worried over form, I fumble with the actual intent part, which we all know matters more than form! I keep telling myself that with experience will come ease with rituals. I know that I need to keep fumbling through these rituals so that I can learn how to get better. This is also proving to be true within my coven. We are five women coming together from all aspects of life. I am the only actual new witch, the least experienced. Sometimes I like being a clean slate, so I may learn from everyone else. Other times I would enjoy not slowing down the whole group because I have never done anything before.

Sometimes it can be so much fun discovering all of this Pagan stuff for the first time. I love feeling like my whole view of the world has changed with each new tidbit. I love finally having a proper explanation for things that I have always thought or felt. I love feeling like I finally belong, like I finally believe in something. So many years being cornered by Christian folks and even Islam people, they always assumed I was either like them or I believed in nothing. It was too difficult to explain what I did believe in, so I left them uncorrected. But now I feel like I can easily define my beliefs and even know people who feel the same! It is just amazing some days.

I heard a band yesterday on another gal's blog and I fell in love with them! The band is called Emerald Rose, have you heard about them? Wow I just love their style and lyrics! If you visit their site they have some sample songs and a lyrics page. They are from Georgia but are considered Irish Folk Rock in genre, I think. You can check them out on You Tube to see some of their other songs. Among my favorites are: Pagan Girl, Fire in the Head, Merry May Folk, Santa Claus is Pagan, Loch Lomond (Irish Classic). You really should check them out if you haven't yet, they are just wonderful!

I hope that this New Year's Eve is finding you all happily and ready for the new year ahead. I hope your Blue Moon goes along magickally and may the divine continue to surprise us all!


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Wishing you a magickal blue moon new year's eve!

Sparkless said...

Oh, I love Emerald Rose too! Did you know that it's a partial eclipse also on this full moon? Only parts of Europe will be able to view this though. So this makes this full moon a bit special and unsettling.
Bright Blessings for a magical New Year/Blue Moon

ONe PiNK FiSH said...

Good luck with your moon ritual. It sounds like you have jumped in full force and I wish you the best of luck.

I was actually on iTunes last night and revamping my folders on the iPod. New music is right up my alley. You must of known. Thanks for sharing.

Laura said...

I was nervous my first couple of rituals. For a while I was all about the order, and well "ritual" of it. But then I settled down and realized (at least for me) it isn't so much about the strictness (not really the right word) but about the intent. If you leave out a word or don't light a candle at the right time, I believe that doesn't matter. To me, it is all about intent and commitment.
Happy New Year!

Rue said...

Enjoy your ritual tonight and all the joys of finding new things in Paganism to love!

May this year bring you every blessing!

Lyon said...

I hope that your ritual went well and Happy New Year!

Yes - it is perfectly normal to feel like you're stumbling through at first and yes - it will get easier as you go. Though sometimes you will still stumble and not be sure what to do. It happens sometimes, keeps things interesting. ;-)

And hey- if you like Emerald Rose, check out Gaia Consort - http://www.gaiaconsort.com

Tracy said...

I understand what you mean. I have not really started doing many rituals yet but I am feeling the same way. Brightest Blessings to you this New Year!

Bridgett said...

Oh yes. I'm in your shoes as I type this. I've been Pagan less than a year and I still feel so awkward during rituals. Spells are okay, as they're usually brief and to the point...but rituals take a lot of time and preparation for me.

This was my first Blue Moon as a Pagan too...and unfortunately, I couldn't see a thing. There was so much cloud cover here, I couldn't even see a glimmer of the moon. I was incredibly disappointed.

Off to check out Emerald Rose...I'm digging just the titles of their music! LOL


Anonymous said...

I remember that "fumbling" feeling, kind of like the loosing your virginity feeling but in the Spiritual Realm. Just like sex, you'll find your groove and those fumbling days will be times you will look back on and laugh.