Explore My World

Monday, March 15, 2010

Open You Eyes and You Will See

Estella and me hiking recently 

The rain feels nice. I can feel it saturating my skin, leaving me feel new. I love Spring for all of the rain it brings, leaving the grounds lush and green, making the air scented with earth, calling all animals forth to drink. It has been raining in MA for the past week. Tomorrow (and the rest of the week) will be into the 50-60 degree mark. Is Spring really here this early or is it tricking us, hiding a snow storm under its sleeve? Either way, I am thoroughly enjoying this weather.

For so many months I have been begging the Goddess for a sign, a hint of what the heck I can do to get my family out of poverty. Feeling discouraged, I saw nothing, felt no presence. It was only last week that I realized my solution had been staring me in the face for about a month. I feel like a cad for not realizing it sooner and for feeling abandoned by the divine. It was all in a book that my husband was reading. A book that he was trying to get me to read for about a month. I read it last week and now I know what I have to do, what I have the power to do.

Last night I drew some tarot cards for myself. They were completely dead-on and pointed toward great success. They also warned of greed (as anyone would with great success). I feel like being as poor as we have been breeds greed. Almost as if we cannot think of anyone but ourselves because we are focusing on surviving. This is only half true. I am completely selfless when it comes to my children. When we do not have enough money for food, I gladly go without. I have cut out so much snacking during the week so that we can stretch our fruit for our growing children, who surely need it more.

I cannot imagine being greedy after such a humbling period in our lives. Begging for food, receiving gifts but unable to give, it is so tough. I am so sick of receiving (although infinitely grateful), I just want to give so much. Not only to those friends and family members that helped us out, but to others. Not faceless charities, but to families directly. I don't want other families to suffer as we had, especially for so long.

Listen to me, I am acting as though I am nearly a millionaire! Not close at all, but my mindset is nearly there. That is step one!

I am hoping that you all fair well during this wet weather.

Dry Blessings!

{I purposely am leaving the book title out of this post. I don't want to jinx myself! All will be revealed in time.}

4 comments:

Amy said...

Cant wait to find out what you have up your sleve. And thank you for the comment it ment a lot to me

Rue said...

How exciting! Finding a way to help yourself (and others, if possible) is a wonderful gift. Money issues seem to be everywhere, but I do believe gratitude goes a long way in bringing us more good things - and it looks like you are totally up on the gratitude!

Can't wait to hear about your plans!

Mother's Moon's Message said...

I have always been grateful for my struggles... usually after they occur... sometimes way after... I am eager to hear what you are planning... I agree with Rue... gratitude does go along way in bringing us good things... blessings to you and yours

Bridgett said...

I feel your pain, Iris. I really do. Some days, I wonder how we're ever going to make it...

I really look forward to hearing more of your plans. Perhaps it's something I'll be able to do to help my family as well? :D

Missed you!