Okay I did not see that man with dark hair again. I guess I was just making him up, maybe because I expected to see someone, maybe someone scary looking, reflecting my fears of meeting an actual spirit. Oh well, soon I will meet my spirit guide.
I read an interesting chapter on "Protection" last night. It talked about "energy vampires," people who are always depressed and when they come near you, you feel drained of energy and your good mood, they take it from you. It talked about how to keep yourself safe from these people, because they probably don't even realize they are doing it. I have known so many people that made me feel like that!
Also in that chapter there was mention of protective symbols, like the Pentacle and the Ankh, equal armed cross, and a few others. They were saying that most witches wear one when ever they are out of their house (which is usually heavily protected). At the end of the chapter my homework was to make one of these protective items to wear. I really don't have too much for making it but I did end up finding some embroidery thread and an acorn. My idea was to make a "friendship" bracelet (yup, just like in elementary school) and attach the top of the acron to it with the symbol inscribed on it. After about ten minutes of carefully putting holes in the acron top I broke it trying to get the thread through it. Drat, that was my only acorn. I sifted through more of my nature-y things I had picked up on my last walk and found some birch bark. I soaked the bark in warm water (salt, tea tree oil, cinnamon), charged it with protective energy as I drew my symbol within and rolled it up like a bead around the bracelet. I taped it in the end (no super glue) so it looks a little tacky. I wore it today and it seemed only pleasant moods drifted my way. I like it a lot, but now I feel like I need to make some for my kids. Maybe it will help my two year old stay happier.
I am feeling a strong urge to erect an altar in my bedroom, one I can attend every day. I need a special place to meditate, it was suggested that there be a mediation altar (can be the same used for magick and rituals). I will have to clear some space in my cluttered room and put a table that just happens to be spare right now, there. I really like the notion that everything happens for a reason. There are no coincidences. It gives me comfort, especially when something bad happens, like a necessary evil of sorts.
I still have yet to realize how I am to get a deck or tarot cards, but I am keeping my senses aware. I know a deck will happen into my possession with the right energy projected out, to help them find their way home. Some times I jsut read what I write and stifle laughter. I sound like a kook! But that is alright, I know that I am overcoming years of brainwashing from society. It feels nice to believe in something magickal, gives my inner child something to do.