I have always believed in the magickal and mystical. I have always wanted to be a part of something unbelievable. I remember sitting in the dark of my room as a teenager, hoping that there was a vampire outside my window. I would beg him to please come and take me, to make me immortal, something special. I don't need to tell you that I had a less than happy teen-hood. My parents were horrible. I knew life could hold wonders beyond my home life, but I wanted a change now. I knew vampires probably didn't exist, and finding one that did was a bit of a challenge. So I looked into the next best thing: witchcraft.
Ever since the movie The Craft I had always had a fascination with witches. To be able to change your life for the better excited me. I remember going to the nearest Barnes and Noble with my good, non-judgmental friend and buying Buckland's book, the title I forget. I hid it and read it in my closet. I really had an interest in it but noticed that it took a lot of work and space. At the time I really had no way of hiding something like that from my parents so I ditched it momentarily. It was hard enough to hide a book, let alone a new way of life.
A couple of years later I found this huge book of spells and herbal remedies. I was drawn to it and bought it. I enjoyed flipping through it but still wasn't ready to make a commitment. I had the book even when I married Stag. We lugged the book around, hiding it (with our sex books) from visiting family. I hadn't yet dared peer into the realm of witchery, feeling ashamed of the thought. I was afraid that my Christianish husband wouldn't approve. I loved him so much I was willing to sacrifice my own spiritual health.
When my mother in law urged me to read Nora Roberts Sign of Seven Trilogy I was hesitant. It looked like a scary book, I only read happy ones about love. She told me there were good romance story lines woven within, so I had no choice. I eventually dared to read it. I instantly got sucked into it and finished the trilogy in 10 days. Afterward I felt the urge to research Wicca, witchcraft and spiritual matters. I did so in secret for a couple of nights. Then one night I fessed up to Stag. He was fine with it. Until of course I urged him to attend the Pagan Pride Day that Sunday, two days from then. He was scared that people would know he wasn't "of the craft" and treat him badly. I knew it would be the opposite. In the mean time I researched more, trying to find a coven that offered classes. I knew I needed to learn more by experience than just by reading.
I have read four books since then (3 weeks ago) and look forward to my first "potions" meeting. I am so much more fulfilled now that I have found my path. I know that I was supposed to find this path a number of times. I found it when I was ready to find and pursue it.