Explore My World

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Child of the Goddess?

As I expected I have not been able to keep up with the daily meditations throughout this busy holiday time. I gave myself a break on the weekends claiming no alone time. Yesterday I crocheted a scarf for my sister in law who is visiting from Amsterdam. As I was doing this I convinced myself that it counted as meditation at least a little. I was sitting in the quiet dimly lit room doing something that absorbed me and my perception of time. I do not think that the Goddess counted it though. Later on, around 8pm, I was watching one of my favorite Monday shows and the TV turned off! I looked for the remote and it was sitting serenely behind me, nothing possibly touching it. When I got up and turned it back on it was on a different station. I do not mean channel 2 like it would be if the power shorted or something, it was on channel 7! I did not think too much of that then because I really wanted to watch my show. When I was going to bed I decided it may have been my spirit guide trying to connect with me and didn't want the TV on to do it. I really feel as if it were an ethereal interference and not a technical one. What do you think?

I found it odd that I was not in the least bit afraid that it might be some ghost. I remember thinking, "If it is a ghost, at least all it wants to do is interrupt my sitcom." I have a new understanding for spirits, ghosts, the divine, anything ethereal. Instead of being afraid, I am more neutral. I am not eager to meet up with a ghost that is mean! But I welcome the presence of a helpful spirit. Let me tell you, that is a 360 degree turn!

My co-worker had to go to the doctor today. I found this out last week. Being the procrastinator that I am, I hadn't told my superior yet that I would need a sub. Yesterday morning I met a girl who is another co-worker's cousin and would be volunteering for the next two days. I told her I would be short handed today and she was happy to help. That was lucky huh?

By the end of the day today I was certain that I needed to see her, that a divine hand had pushed her my way. We got talking about this and that, family situations and such. After talking for about four hours straight we got into some deep stuff. As it turns out she had (and is still having as she is 15) a childhood much like my own. Of course certain things slightly different, but the same type of emotional abuse that I endured for years. I enjoyed talking to her and telling her how my parents had treated me and how that made me feel and act as a teen. I think that I helped her realize that a horrible home life was not the only life she would live. She was happy to know how bad it had been for me but how normal and loving I am with my children. I Tried to tell her that no matter how worthless/ugly/fat that her parents tried to tell her she was, she wasn't and it didn't matter. Their words were not said out of love and could not be trusted. If their words had been heeded, they would only bring destruction to her self esteem.

It was sad to learn about her situation but I am glad that I might have been able to help her a little. At one point we started talking about Harry Potter and Twilight. She spoke of how she wished they were true, something so extraordinary, if only it could happen to her. I remember thinking that same thing at fifteen. That is what turned me (at first) toward Paganism, I wanted to do and be something special. She sounds like a child of the Goddess to me. She still has no idea, but the Goddess put us together today and will continue to help her find her way as she grows and learns. I know she will be alright in the end.

1 comment:

Bella Foxglove said...

We might have quite a bit in common...

I ran away from home at 15, and got married ( the first time ) at 16 because of a mental and emotional abusive father..and a distant mother.

For the first 3/4 of my life I had NO self esteem because of my father, and so many things that happened in my life are a direct result of leaving home so early, and letting people walk all over me because thanks to him , I felt like I did not deserve any better.

She may very well be a child of the Goddess...it is how I came to be on the path I am today as well.

It was great that you talked to her..and gave her some hope and friendship...